Sherine Khalil, Athena and Nurul Izwa

On our first meeting, I was surprised that he could actually sumise in depth beyond other's understanding of whom I really am. That was before he introduced me to Sherine Khalil, the woman who prefers herself to be known as Athena.. a name of one of the Greek Goddess. We both have a lot in common. The difference between she and I, is the truth that we hold on to. She dares to meet with it and I dont. Some things are better left unknown. You see, its easy to be honest with others but to do that to yourself.. It takes a whole new perception and definition of what we are. What are we?

I'm a non-comformist so I rather not confirm myself to anything but rather let loose myself in everything. We are the constituent of the universe.. Everything has connection to one and another... more than that we share common traits. God-like traits are in us because we are His creature. definition limits our potential in every way. Whose idea was it in the first place I wonder... Athena understands that. Probably i understands her beyond the understanding within this limitation that defines her. We both have strong connection.. which sometimes scares me. Truth always scares me. note: I am not an existentialist.

What are we? Thats the question that lingers in us from time to time. If ever someone ask me that, here's the answer.. we are made of energy. Of course we are. Everything is made of energy. Energy evolve..reforms, change forms.. everything. Believing in this, I accept changes with open arms. Changes is good. Athena agreed. We both know, its not the drama, its not the past and it nothing to do with the environment that make us change. Ourselves a few second ago.. a few hours ago is different than ourselves at the present and will be different in the next few seconds, minutes.. hours later. Time is illusion, u dont feel it. Time is an illusion as we both agreed. All that exist is space. Wide space for us to be whoever we want to be. This is the real freedom that we sometimes overlooked. Why? Perhaps because we're so busy to fill in the blanks in us. Not every empty space needs to be filled. Let it remain empty. What space?! Didnt u know, u're preeched to be truthful... transparent. An overrated idea that makes this life seems so intense to live on. We dont need to answer everything about life. Let some be a mystery. I bet she would agree with me. Or not!

Athena was taught that we destroy and rebuild ourselves from time to time..we have the same pattern going on in life; lost and found, hate and love..from being in well-structured system to a complete out of the system. She was taught.. i had to discover that on my own. The common that we have is we accept it and dwell totally in it. Be in a complete presence and totally aware of the being. It drenched us sometimes but there's beauty in it.

Athena.. she danced but in a complete rhythmless motion. She said that it is the way of provoking a presence without any artificial means. I did (different form.. not dance) and I did it way before i met her. It was hard.. u see, that is our biggest fear. To do something completely out of norm.. out of the routine. we get intimidated so easily by it because we're so used to 'the system'. The system takes over our lives. I wasnt aware of what I did and the purpose I did it but I know it was the joy that I was addicted to... now that she made it clear, I wanted to feel every inch of this presence. Roasted chicken with chocolate syrup, tuna sandwich with peanut butter and jelly and fries dipped in vanila ice cream. I found something beyond this complete presence... the happiness within, the joy of every inch of my fear and the complete possibility of being a person called 'self'. I am the one who has the right to open the door of this possibility and no one else...

I'm glad he introduced me to her. more than knowing another person, he made me understand completely about who i am. thanks...