Pre wedding photoshoot

Been a while since I'm in here. I thought of updating with the wedding preparation but no. I hardly focus on preparation but thanks to my sister who also be getting married on the same day, she was the one who running the errands. We have two weeks to go before the wedding and I just had my pre wedding photoshoot. It was awesome. Waq and Saiful from Jangguttouch http://jangguttouch.com/blog/ did the whole outdoor shoot. The haze somehow give a lil touch, contributes to the awesomeness of the whole scene. Here goes...  

 FYI, all the props are mine. Yes, the big ol' radio, the camera, the hat etc..

At first, we thought of doing the shoot at Collesium as the theme revolve around 50-60 ish. Why would wanna waste RM500 for few hours. You just got to open your eyes and look around you..

Journey to the wedding: phase 1

January 1st 2012 marks the date. I am now engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years. Our relationship has been a great journey. Believe it or not, we have never been into a huge fight perhaps a fight itself. No we haven't and insyaallah shall not be. It is not because we want to skip all the dramas nor we're too lazy to fight with each other, we just couldn't find the reason and the subject matter to fight about. 3 years is a short period of time. We are still in the midst of adapting with each other's life. Who says taking time means you should completely forget the idea of being serious with someone. We both are taking time and to us, taking time is a process while being in the relationship itself. Love, like everything else, evolve. That is how our journey is.

Okay, enough about that that. We are currently busy with the wedding preparation. My sister and I both are going to get married on the same day. Double celebration that is. I have never thought planning a wedding could be very tiring. From choosing the design of the dress, the decoration of the bedroom, the decoration itself of the whole wedding itself, which we haven't done much yet, at the time of speaking, and so on. I haven't even complete my list of invitation and wedding is in July.

I'm slowly picking up on color coordination. I am very bad at decorating, colors, the combination of everything. Thanks to my sister, I have her doing all the things, cracking head on the decor, the mix and match and the design of our wedding dress.

Things that I can put a tick on my checklist for now:
1. bedroom furniture (it supposed to come after we paint the wall but errkk too bad its early!!)
2. curtains
3.wedding dress design and colors
4. makeup (we've paid the deposit hours ago)
5. knowing who would be the photographer..bla bla

So basically that's just it for now. We'll see how it goes in few weeks to come.

Some of the engagement's photos.

tepak sireh

                                               
                                                 

                                             ... with my fiance, J.

with my girls

Time

Time doesn't exist.  If we're measuring the movement of what common belief the earth r doing, it means we're measuring it with clock. Yes clock exist but not time.Time doesn't exist, only space. Take your time to ignore time. But do not waste it 

As to WHY..

Last week my boss told me she didn't like how I look in hijab. I didn't want to jump into conclusion because it probably not what she meant to say. Probably is. God knows and personally at this point, it's just one of those random comments. If we believe we have the right to do what we choose to do so as others. They have the right to go against it or not to like it. As long as we agree to disagree, there can be no further issue involve. Funny how cliche it is when disagreement happens, the next thing you know people come up with a lot of irrelevant issues from the view of moral, ethical, religious etc etc. At the end of the day, defending what we believe in leads to us being self-righteous, in one way or another. Who wants to look stupid in an argument,right?! I certainly don't. That's just the nature of human.

Out of curiousity, I confronted her and asked. She smiled. She said my face look smaller in hijab. Okay. Fair enough. Then she continued saying I may change in the way I view things, and she scared I may be oversensitive towards a lot of things after this. Now, that's not about being shallow. We are bombarded with a lot of issue these days and believe it or not fear, prejudice, stigma occur. But I couldn't help myself laughing. I was quite surprise that she never asked why I'm wearing it. Probably she understood why. 

Then again, WHY is always the question. WHY is also the question tag that should never be used in this matter. Everybody knows why. Probably everybody knows the big WHY. But why now? Truth is, I don't have the answer. I may be have, but the answer is not with me. 

Whether a person wants to be self-righteous, change their perceptions towards others or overly-sensitive towards issues in regards to different belief, moral etc is all up to the individual, doesn't matter whether they are in Hijab or without one. Someone who wants to live in a better version of herself or himself knows they change on their own term, for themselves, without having to justify it to anybody or bragging how great the course of life they have in the changes. They know and aware of their surroundings; respect and understand the relationship with one another better. They only become preacher to themselves but teach when they love others, learn when they love themselves. 

:) 

the smile...

When the girl with hundred pairs of shoes meet the boy with only a pair of it, they fell in love, instantly. No reason needed. Feelings need no reason. Sometimes the girl wonder (she wonders a lot and she worries a lot too) if good things will last as long as they are together. The boy knows she just scared. He said, "love, just like everything else, changes its form. It is an energy. It never dies but transform." The boy knows better after everything he had been through. He learned it at such a young age and learned it quick.

But what if she doesn't want the love to transform? Could that be the reason why some people find themselves battling with their feelings, simply because they do not allow love to change its form? What are the risk if we allow it? The boy smiled. Changes are not necessarily bad. It allows us human to evolve.

The girl decides to learn love ..little that he knows she begin her quest by trying to understand the gift called love. to learn is to know the Creator and love Him. She found peace. She didn't care about other's preach. To her, no other better medium to convey the message of the heart than to feel it itself. The girl learn about herself as a being, the perfect creation of the Creator. She begin to understand that despite the insecurity and inferiority she sometimes has, those feelings complete the cycle of emotion given to her. She loves the perfection within the imperfection. She found acceptence. She tells herself, no one has the right to take away the feelings that are naturally within self. Love the love. She found happiness...

She said to the boy, "love lies independently. It doesn't need two person to work its magic. but what makes it grow stronger is because u and i are in it. we are part of the energy." He smiled. Words may not be able to tell the feelings but the smile is everything the feeling all about.

I am LOVE

You don't have to look further than where you stand to find the reason why you love and are in love. You don't have to ask why you're being loved because not only reasons may take away the feelings but the feelings may fade away with reasons.

Love speaks its own language that needs no one to understand it. Feel... and you know you are what love really is.

On right and wrong

Any clown can be right, any idiot can succeed. The art of living intelligently is being wrong, failing and dealing with our mistakes in a way that allows us still like ourselves, even if we hate when things gone wrong.

Being wrong is not stupid. It is being aggressively wrong that is stupid. If we can be wrong gently, we are just wrong, not stupid. We can be aggressively right and very stupid.

If we are certain that we are right, question is.. why do we have to give the truth extra force by backing it up with aggression?

The truth can simply stand unsupported..

In embracing peace and unity

I personally couldnt be bothered about those who don't like others who embrace the 'we're-one-big-happy- family' idea or whether they are being introverted, private, introspective and even solitary. It is a personal issue by choice to be such and such. After all, we grew up looking at the world differently simply because it is how we want it to look like and to be like. As long as those people do not drag the others into the role play of being the victims of the situations, its fair enough for everyone else, isnt it?

Every moment of happiness and every smile counts in this short period of time called LIFE.

The recent incident; burning of churches, demonstration against the non-muslims using Allah in referrence and etc, that happened around this country has brought to our attention. This occurs especially to us who live in this generation who always celebrate the 'Malaysianizing of Malaysians' ; accepting everyone as part of the family regardless the differences in colors, language, religious belief and so on. Yes, there are things we often disagree but not many of us who really put ourselves out there to do something about it, to celebrate these differences as part of what unity is all about. Unity takes more than just the old conventional gathering, watching Malaysian traditional dances and parades, singging National anthem, shouting out loud '1 Malaysia' in Dataran Merdeka. Mind due, we are not the 'Rais Yatim' generation!

The crave of showing the older generations and the ignorant group of individuals of what peace and unity really means in its real sense has led a few youngsters to organize something called Tali Tenang: Cool and calm people. A walk along the streets from Bangsar LRT station to Bangsar Sports Complex, holding strings together, was more than just being a symbolic meaning of unity, of calm and cool Malaysian. It has certainly proved that unity is simple. It is right in front of us, all around us. Believing in it is not enough. As wise man said, 'action speaks louder than words'. The cheerful look, the support that we had from the public who passed by and the smile in everyone's face, had certainly proved that we are calm and cool Malaysians in general.

Walking along the street of Jalan Maarof

Smiling and waving at everyone who passes by
Toughest challenge.. getting almost 250 people to cross the street

@ Bangsar Sports Complex

The glass...

This glass, a special glass, handle it with care. Its more fragile than any glasses you ever found. This glass is delicate, created before the time of Adam and Eve. Destiny was written on it, inside it, above it, below and all around. As time goes by, you would see it one after another.This glass is filled with life and humanity, faith and morality. The glass was not flimsy rather it owns the fragility in its beauty, given to each of us as the most precious gift the day we were brought into this world.

Today, one glass is back to where it belongs and so as the person who held it. Al Fatihah to a dear friend, Bibi Yasmin. She was strong in battling the leukimia. She fought with all her strength and yes, she won the battle. May Allah bless her soul and be granted a special place among the mukminin.

She was once, among us, who held this glass. But her glass was crystal clear that you could see every inch of the beauty of it. She was known to most as the happy-go-lucky person even the very day when she found out about her disease. I knew about it the month after that when she didnt attend most of the classes. She was, indeed the epitome of good things in life. Never hurt anyone, none bad things about the others ever been uttered. She was to me, a definition of a real good friend and she made life so simple, and I am pretty sure everyone who knows her envied that.

Looking back at the glass that we carry with us, it made me realize that this glass of mine isnt really as clear as I could see thru it. I'm taking this opportunity to look back at myself and the fragile glass that I am holding.. it may be taken away back to its place in the next second, the next hour, the next month or in years to come. Be it whenever that it is going to happen, I shall take care of it just as the way it was given to me and shall not let it shattered easily. And for that matter, I would like to appologize to friends, family and everyone for the things I did or said that may hurt all thru these years. For I am only like anyone else, born to make mistake.

May the Almighty inspire us all with peace and insight to help us understand the intricacies and complexities of this life.

What is your art?

A wise man said, life is an imitation of art. Some others prefers to see that life itself is an art. I agree. I see life as painting. Body is a canvas. The canvas that we paint the art of our lives. It doesnt matter how we paint it, we know no one leaves the canvas blank. Who we are is hardly defined by the colors we used. The art itself does not depend solely on colors. But the brush does play the role. Soul is the brush, the mechanism that controls the colors as we go through the journey creating our art.

Art is however subjective in definition. Every single things, ideas and emotions have their own art and we are not subjected to look at it in one direction. To feel the presence of ourselves is to get in touch with our being every second and to find the art hidden. The art of freedom to Coelho (the writer) is not the absence of commitments but lies in the choices of task that he made. Freedom to me is when we finally understand and ready to set free ourselves from defining things as what they are and who we are. We are everything that the universe has to offer.

It is hard to search the right answer of who we are. No one knows not even ourselves. But if we know what art we're carrying, the knowledge of the universe will certainly helps us to get to know our soul and the souls of the others. It'll guide us in making decisions, shaping our perceptions, and balancing between rational and emotion.

Officially 27 and loving every bit of it!

Alhamdullilah, at the time of writing this, i'm still alive and kickin'! Yes, I am officially 27 years old. A wise once said, "Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old". Indeed. I am grateful to be able to see and feel the most precious gift given by God, the beauty of life. If it had written there that I'll be gone in the next second, the next minute or hours..years.. you should know and let the others know that I have lived my life perfectly.

p/s: Thank you God, Thank you everyone...

A letter to you (hoping that you read it because I really want you to)

Dear Happiness..

I'm glad that I've opened up myself in knowing you. How are you? I'm doin' extremely good in here. Its all because of you. It took me a while to gain the trust in you, in knowing for what you really are, walking down the lane slowly, trying to understand you deeply. Its all worth it. Oh, did I mentioned, i'm doing really good in here? Oh yeah, I did.

I'm sorry for not be able to thank you earlier. I've been busy lately, trying to fill up each moment with good things around. The truth is, it isnt really that hard. In a way you've shown me that the good friend of yours, joy, exists in almost everything and everyone around me. I dont have to look further. The only thing I need is the sense of gratitude from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to bed. I began to realize that being thankful for what God has given me, no matter how small those gift the others might think of it, it makes everything fall into place. It may not be the case of everything I planned work smoothly, but at least it is still on the track. Thank you Happiness.

They may said that I am what I am now is all because I'm in love. True and there is nothing wrong with it. I'm in love with love. Hey, isnt Love your old friend too? I've learn so much from Love. The most valuable lesson Love taught me is to feel the feeling, not to understand the meaning of it or trying to make sense out of theories made by anyone. Love has no boundaries in the sense of time and space. Love the past, the present and the future moment because only by then there will be the connection between the existence of the body and the soul. Live with no regrets, hate not for who you were in the past. Love said, i will find happiness once I understand the whole meaning of love. I did, didnt I? I've finally understood you. Few months back, I met someone and fell in love with him. We promised nothing but to make each other happy. Up till today, we still keep our words on it. Isnt it great? He knows you too, I guess. Do you? hmmm...

I guess that's all i could write to you for now. Hope i could write more sometimes in the future. Till then...

Love,
Izwa

The Unspoken Words of Love

LOVE is fitrah. A nature. No matter how much we tried to pull ourselves from it, just like a strong magnet it holds us back. Is it because God granted every each of His creations with hearts that we are bound to have it or is it because since we are the creations of Him that He puts part of His traits in us? Is love lies in the heart.. the heart that beats? What if it stops beating? Where the love goes? Does it change its form, then? I guess love doesnt come in specific shape, placed in specific spot. Love is like soul. Perhaps, love is one of the element in the soul. The soul never dies so does love.

A wise man told, love thyself before loving others. We humans are bunch of ignorance. We also like to take for granted for the things we presume we know. Take a time, feel the love within us, the love for ourselves and the love connection with the Universe. Love will take us to a whole new level, love is no longer a tangible thing that needs to be justified. Feel the feeling because no matter where the journey takes us, we know we have love surrounds to keep us warm and comfort us. Learn the essence of love before knowing what it takes to love the self..or the others.

The language of love, beyond holding hands, three words "I Love You", a song to be sing, it is a chemistry that not only flows within two souls but thru the entire waves in the universe. Hence when love strucks, everything seems to fall into places. Live each moment of it. Love condemns promises. Make no promise to another because love has no contracts, rules and no one is bind to the boundless emotion. Sell not the soul. embrace while we're at it and celebrate the precious gift of the heart.

Love the love..

The Art of Losing

Losing is hard and painful. But losing is not always a bad thing. It is a call. A call that tells us to look upon things and people we have and to realize that they are as much important as ourselves regardless it is in the past,the present or the future moment. It is also a sign of not taking for granted the existence of the things and people we have around us.

A place Called Here by Cecilia Ahern according to my sister is a beautiful story about a land where things and people we've lost are well-kept and living their lives. Ever wonder why we kept on losing one of our socks, each time? They are in this fantasy land where they belong in the first place. More than just bringing us to the imaginary world, the story tells us that sometimes we forgot that losing takes beyond the meaning of disconnecting ourselves from other things or other people. It is the act of letting go simply because they deserve to be in the place that they are destined to be.

People tend to lose things everyday in life. It is not because we are not meant to have it or that of a bad luck. Sometimes without realizing we often wish of having something more than what we have at the present moment. The Universe works its magic. In getting what we wish for, something else has to go. Mom lost her phone twice, the same brand and she then decided to get a different one. She loves it regardless how much we hated it. A dear friend lost his car back years go and he finally gets to drive the car he always wanted. Though it is nowhere near his dream car he is glad that he finally own a better one than he had previously.

Nature tells us that life is a cycle. Youth is the best moment for everyone. Those who are afraid of losing this phase shall not live. Losing youth is not a sign of that death is one step ahead. It broadens our definition about living the life. A moment is as important as the other. The feeling of losing youth happen to those who couldnt find the meaning of happiness in each moment they live, each things they do and all the people they meet. Losing is a moment when they miss the second chance given.

Losing someone dearly is tragic enough but losing the faith in God for what has been written is worse. It doesnt matter whether it was a mistake made by the hospital, a conspiracy of the others or taken by someone who decided to play the role of a Creator, its all just a storyline to get to the final end of the chapter in their lives. We who live shall alway keep the faith in Him until our story is fully written.

The brother i knew

Life and death is part of the game in our lives. I constantly remind myself that i shouldn't dwell myself too much in the death denying culture, death is scary. No it is not. Befriend with death, that's whut i told. Setiap yang hidup pasti akan mati, kematian itu benar..thats whut i heard in talqin at every funeral i attend. But to swallow the fact is another thing. Its bitter, its painful and it certainly moves u to a different phase for certain period of time. But someone dearly used to say, the mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death. But, death becomes him..

Perhaps its true. The mystery of love is much more greater than anything else in this world. He was the epitome of all the beautiful things on earth with so much love and passion for everyone and in everything he did. The brother that i knew never complains of any of his bad condition. Everytime we were in the hospital he kept being positive and kept convincing us things are going to be fine. And that when things are good, we would the whole family go for a vacation. He made us believe in it. We believed it even at the last moment before he was put on anesthetic. His last word was 'dun worry, things are going to be okay' before saying the kalimah syahada..

His strength, his positive mind, his passion, his strong faith in Allah and his love, are his great legacy. Al Fatihah dear bro Syed Ahmad Nawal.. we'll miss u so much.

the blank space

Every heart has a space to be filled. It doesnt matter in what form or what kind of a desire, as long as it is not left empty. Empty space creates a flaw, we believed. Somehow we tend to forget the more we tried to fill these empty spaces, the more we feel we're not good enough.

In some circumstances, we urge ourselves to find someone else to fill up the space for us. When that happens it may feels like the space gets bigger than it already is. The truth is, nothing and no one can help us in it.

Perhaps the blank space is meant to be the way it is. Blank. Maybe only then we find the true meaning of peace and serenity.

The Stillness

Everyday I hear friends making a fuss about work, the boring same old routine, being trapped in life that leave them no choice but to keep on with it. Each day seems painful to go through. Escapism does exists but for a short while. Happiness is a temporary, they said. Reality sucks, as they put it. Little that they know, by creating this vibe they are actually welcoming more bad energy. Cliche theory, you might say. Yes it is a theory but how hard can it be when you try to put it into practice. Keeping the good vibe. When it happens, you will be pulling more good energy. Living the life is not so much about what we receive rather, what we give. What you give, you get back. Hear that.. its even in Scorpion song.

Is human really a complex creature? We often want things we dont need. We want drama to happen once in a while and when it does, again, we wish it happen to somebody else. Wake up, we are no difference than others.

If there is one thing we should learn by hard is to take a time, dwell ourselves in the stillness moment. Some people put it as taffakur or meditation in any other form based on the custom or religious belief. The stillness moment is not as hard as it seems if we dont believe in sitting and closing the eyes. Its probably a symbolic way of being in that state.

We may be caught up with work and crisis that we forgot we are an entity that stands alone separated from other tangible elements. This separated entity knows it needs the moment of stillness because in that presence, the moment never lie of what state we are in, what we really need and what we really want. The stillness goes different direction from meditation, questioning our presence in the universe and the purpose of existence but making us indulging ourselves as part of the universe for a moment, appreciating each second that we are in and making the best of each moment no matter how bad it may seems. More than identifying the moment itself, it makes us feel the real feeling. Letting ourselves to feel the pain, the joy and the serenity that come all at once. All that exists in the stillness state are the wide space and our physical and spiritual presence and nothing else. Would it be hard to pick up the pieces of the missing puzzle when the only thing that exist is ourselves in an empty space? Would it still be hard to identify the crisis within ourselves when we are in the moment of transparency?

We do need the stillness moment because inside each of us we are all craving for answers.
Perhaps its just that we do not prefer to take the time moving ourselves out of the circle of the comfort zone. Living in denial seems more practical. We rather choose to be masochist, constantly hurting ourselves and make believe that it eventually will be okay. But what is good for the body is not necessary good for the soul.

Sherine Khalil, Athena and Nurul Izwa

On our first meeting, I was surprised that he could actually sumise in depth beyond other's understanding of whom I really am. That was before he introduced me to Sherine Khalil, the woman who prefers herself to be known as Athena.. a name of one of the Greek Goddess. We both have a lot in common. The difference between she and I, is the truth that we hold on to. She dares to meet with it and I dont. Some things are better left unknown. You see, its easy to be honest with others but to do that to yourself.. It takes a whole new perception and definition of what we are. What are we?

I'm a non-comformist so I rather not confirm myself to anything but rather let loose myself in everything. We are the constituent of the universe.. Everything has connection to one and another... more than that we share common traits. God-like traits are in us because we are His creature. definition limits our potential in every way. Whose idea was it in the first place I wonder... Athena understands that. Probably i understands her beyond the understanding within this limitation that defines her. We both have strong connection.. which sometimes scares me. Truth always scares me. note: I am not an existentialist.

What are we? Thats the question that lingers in us from time to time. If ever someone ask me that, here's the answer.. we are made of energy. Of course we are. Everything is made of energy. Energy evolve..reforms, change forms.. everything. Believing in this, I accept changes with open arms. Changes is good. Athena agreed. We both know, its not the drama, its not the past and it nothing to do with the environment that make us change. Ourselves a few second ago.. a few hours ago is different than ourselves at the present and will be different in the next few seconds, minutes.. hours later. Time is illusion, u dont feel it. Time is an illusion as we both agreed. All that exist is space. Wide space for us to be whoever we want to be. This is the real freedom that we sometimes overlooked. Why? Perhaps because we're so busy to fill in the blanks in us. Not every empty space needs to be filled. Let it remain empty. What space?! Didnt u know, u're preeched to be truthful... transparent. An overrated idea that makes this life seems so intense to live on. We dont need to answer everything about life. Let some be a mystery. I bet she would agree with me. Or not!

Athena was taught that we destroy and rebuild ourselves from time to time..we have the same pattern going on in life; lost and found, hate and love..from being in well-structured system to a complete out of the system. She was taught.. i had to discover that on my own. The common that we have is we accept it and dwell totally in it. Be in a complete presence and totally aware of the being. It drenched us sometimes but there's beauty in it.

Athena.. she danced but in a complete rhythmless motion. She said that it is the way of provoking a presence without any artificial means. I did (different form.. not dance) and I did it way before i met her. It was hard.. u see, that is our biggest fear. To do something completely out of norm.. out of the routine. we get intimidated so easily by it because we're so used to 'the system'. The system takes over our lives. I wasnt aware of what I did and the purpose I did it but I know it was the joy that I was addicted to... now that she made it clear, I wanted to feel every inch of this presence. Roasted chicken with chocolate syrup, tuna sandwich with peanut butter and jelly and fries dipped in vanila ice cream. I found something beyond this complete presence... the happiness within, the joy of every inch of my fear and the complete possibility of being a person called 'self'. I am the one who has the right to open the door of this possibility and no one else...

I'm glad he introduced me to her. more than knowing another person, he made me understand completely about who i am. thanks...

Single Stigma

Why does being single is always associated with being cursed? You are single and u are labelled as a person with some kind of a flaw. Walking around the street or sitting alone while enjoying the solitary moment and suddenly the eyes were looking, judging. In other case, being single is viewed as the only option that is left... big 'L' on the forehead that is.

Single is an option. An individual option that is, not in the society. But what does single means? Is it just a person with no love life, not being in a steady relationship or not in a relationship at all? It never occurs to me that being single has its own impact. A stigma, just like divorcee, widow, u name it. A dear friend who is single for many years, was complaining that Malaysian society are somewhat shallow in this notion. Parents kept on pushing her in finding her so-called soulmate as if the world is about to blow at anytime soon. As if they were afraid that when the time comes the leader of a tribe would take her as a sacrifice for a ritual. In a different situation, she was sitting alone in the middle of a crowd, with bunch of single girls and guys around (who came in groups) when suddenly she noticed that she was the center of attraction. It was definitely not the kind of attraction that we always want from strangers. It was as if there were voices mocking her present. The beauty of solitude crushed instantly. She knew at that moment, everyone noticed the status card that she was holding. S-I-N-G-L-E and it was a bad sign!

It is such an idiotic idea to perceive that people who choose to be single are those with flaws.. worse than those in a relationship. Only ignorants would view being single as being depressed, living a melancholic life with unhealthy state of mind. Cliche... its all cliche.

Forgiving and Forgetting

The act of forgiving a person who may have hurt us is seen as a noble thing to do. Forgetting it is another issue or another process. A good person is usually defined as one who can really forgive and forget things. It is difficult to say that whether the person is an evil or good by his or her reaction towards the idea both idea forgiving n forget. Some says it depends on how bad the scar have they left to us.

Hurt. How do we measure it? By the act that has been done upon us or the effect of it? It does has a connection with our capability of forgiving and forgetting things that a person did to us. We do forgive and forget little things that might cause us pain. But again, this is very subjective in its idea. Feelings are varies from one to another. How do we know that some things should be forgiven and some does not even deserve a second chance? Forgetting may take a longer time or may not at all compared to forgiving . Thus, we view that forgive and forget as two seperate entities. Are they, really?

I do believe that being humane is not just about what we contribute to the others, physically. Being humane is not only how we present ourselves to the others with the idea that we are very ethical in every aspect of life. Beyond that, humane takes us deeper than what we can see. The first step is to acknowledge ourselves as a person who is willingly to accept the notion of forgiving and forgetting, starting with ourselves. Instead of blaming our parents who are responsibled in shaping our bad worldview and negative ideas of certain things as the way it is, we should forgive them and forgive ourselves for it. Only then we can really move on to the next process, forgetting and thus, have a clear mind. When we have clear conscience, it doesnt matter how bad things can really hurt us, it can easily be forgiven and forgetten.

When I began to practise the act of forgiving and forgetting, the infinite beauty of being happy suddenly becomes clear. Forgiving someone and forgetting for what has been done is more than just about changing the personality within myself. The clear state of mind is what really matters the most. It is priceless. Only by then that everything else comes easily. On top of that not only it I attract good things for myself but it also attracts me to good vibes with other people.
Forgiving and forgetting is however a matter of choices. By not doing it, it is not an evil act. I've seen the two sides of the paths and each leads to different possibilities. But, there is no point of putting a grudge too long on someone. Deep down inside our heart we know it will definitely leave us feeling incomplete.