the many faces of aloneness

the famous scarlet letter A that once stood for 'Adultery' might now be said to stand for 'Alone'. a few month ago my best friends and i had a conversation about a woman being alone and to us, its seems pretty normal having that kind of life. we're the women who are basically examplifies many women today; independent, having respect to our worldly accomplishments, education, career status and having the ability to earn a decent living. however, we're also the other half who has no fear of aloneness. to be alone afterall, is a breeding ground for thought.

the problem with women today and probably the stigma in the society is that women alone is statusless, an outcast. bullshit! alone means u're able to self-identified as being an entity without feeling that u have to gauge ur desire according to men standard of measurement. instead of asking 'what does he want me to be?' we ask 'who are we?' and instead of asking 'what does he wants from me?' we ask 'what do i want for myself'. i lost myself in the 7 of being with someone.. only towards the end of my relationship that i realized being a woman alone is not virtually a euphemism for being flawed. falling in love is not an escapism of the aloness that i feared.

although the acceptance of aloneness can be hard for both women and men there is still one essential difference prevails. men who are alone are not marginalized. if anything , they are mythologized. solitary males have a heroic patina. and FUCK that!!!!

the most important question for women both within marriage and without including those who sculpt their own kind of 'marriage' is that whether the society respect our rights, encourage us to feel our own worth and protect us? being able to answer this, we are indeed able to redress our marginalized state.

p/s: aloness is not a pusnishment and a condemnation. it is a resource and an opportunity for growth and transformation.