LOVE is fitrah. A nature. No matter how much we tried to pull ourselves from it, just like a strong magnet it holds us back. Is it because God granted every each of His creations with hearts that we are bound to have it or is it because since we are the creations of Him that He puts part of His traits in us? Is love lies in the heart.. the heart that beats? What if it stops beating? Where the love goes? Does it change its form, then? I guess love doesnt come in specific shape, placed in specific spot. Love is like soul. Perhaps, love is one of the element in the soul. The soul never dies so does love.
A wise man told, love thyself before loving others. We humans are bunch of ignorance. We also like to take for granted for the things we presume we know. Take a time, feel the love within us, the love for ourselves and the love connection with the Universe. Love will take us to a whole new level, love is no longer a tangible thing that needs to be justified. Feel the feeling because no matter where the journey takes us, we know we have love surrounds to keep us warm and comfort us. Learn the essence of love before knowing what it takes to love the self..or the others.
The language of love, beyond holding hands, three words "I Love You", a song to be sing, it is a chemistry that not only flows within two souls but thru the entire waves in the universe. Hence when love strucks, everything seems to fall into places. Live each moment of it. Love condemns promises. Make no promise to another because love has no contracts, rules and no one is bind to the boundless emotion. Sell not the soul. embrace while we're at it and celebrate the precious gift of the heart.
Love the love..
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Art of Losing
Losing is hard and painful. But losing is not always a bad thing. It is a call. A call that tells us to look upon things and people we have and to realize that they are as much important as ourselves regardless it is in the past,the present or the future moment. It is also a sign of not taking for granted the existence of the things and people we have around us.
A place Called Here by Cecilia Ahern according to my sister is a beautiful story about a land where things and people we've lost are well-kept and living their lives. Ever wonder why we kept on losing one of our socks, each time? They are in this fantasy land where they belong in the first place. More than just bringing us to the imaginary world, the story tells us that sometimes we forgot that losing takes beyond the meaning of disconnecting ourselves from other things or other people. It is the act of letting go simply because they deserve to be in the place that they are destined to be.
People tend to lose things everyday in life. It is not because we are not meant to have it or that of a bad luck. Sometimes without realizing we often wish of having something more than what we have at the present moment. The Universe works its magic. In getting what we wish for, something else has to go. Mom lost her phone twice, the same brand and she then decided to get a different one. She loves it regardless how much we hated it. A dear friend lost his car back years go and he finally gets to drive the car he always wanted. Though it is nowhere near his dream car he is glad that he finally own a better one than he had previously.
Nature tells us that life is a cycle. Youth is the best moment for everyone. Those who are afraid of losing this phase shall not live. Losing youth is not a sign of that death is one step ahead. It broadens our definition about living the life. A moment is as important as the other. The feeling of losing youth happen to those who couldnt find the meaning of happiness in each moment they live, each things they do and all the people they meet. Losing is a moment when they miss the second chance given.
Losing someone dearly is tragic enough but losing the faith in God for what has been written is worse. It doesnt matter whether it was a mistake made by the hospital, a conspiracy of the others or taken by someone who decided to play the role of a Creator, its all just a storyline to get to the final end of the chapter in their lives. We who live shall alway keep the faith in Him until our story is fully written.
A place Called Here by Cecilia Ahern according to my sister is a beautiful story about a land where things and people we've lost are well-kept and living their lives. Ever wonder why we kept on losing one of our socks, each time? They are in this fantasy land where they belong in the first place. More than just bringing us to the imaginary world, the story tells us that sometimes we forgot that losing takes beyond the meaning of disconnecting ourselves from other things or other people. It is the act of letting go simply because they deserve to be in the place that they are destined to be.
People tend to lose things everyday in life. It is not because we are not meant to have it or that of a bad luck. Sometimes without realizing we often wish of having something more than what we have at the present moment. The Universe works its magic. In getting what we wish for, something else has to go. Mom lost her phone twice, the same brand and she then decided to get a different one. She loves it regardless how much we hated it. A dear friend lost his car back years go and he finally gets to drive the car he always wanted. Though it is nowhere near his dream car he is glad that he finally own a better one than he had previously.
Nature tells us that life is a cycle. Youth is the best moment for everyone. Those who are afraid of losing this phase shall not live. Losing youth is not a sign of that death is one step ahead. It broadens our definition about living the life. A moment is as important as the other. The feeling of losing youth happen to those who couldnt find the meaning of happiness in each moment they live, each things they do and all the people they meet. Losing is a moment when they miss the second chance given.
Losing someone dearly is tragic enough but losing the faith in God for what has been written is worse. It doesnt matter whether it was a mistake made by the hospital, a conspiracy of the others or taken by someone who decided to play the role of a Creator, its all just a storyline to get to the final end of the chapter in their lives. We who live shall alway keep the faith in Him until our story is fully written.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The brother i knew
Life and death is part of the game in our lives. I constantly remind myself that i shouldn't dwell myself too much in the death denying culture, death is scary. No it is not. Befriend with death, that's whut i told. Setiap yang hidup pasti akan mati, kematian itu benar..thats whut i heard in talqin at every funeral i attend. But to swallow the fact is another thing. Its bitter, its painful and it certainly moves u to a different phase for certain period of time. But someone dearly used to say, the mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death. But, death becomes him..
Perhaps its true. The mystery of love is much more greater than anything else in this world. He was the epitome of all the beautiful things on earth with so much love and passion for everyone and in everything he did. The brother that i knew never complains of any of his bad condition. Everytime we were in the hospital he kept being positive and kept convincing us things are going to be fine. And that when things are good, we would the whole family go for a vacation. He made us believe in it. We believed it even at the last moment before he was put on anesthetic. His last word was 'dun worry, things are going to be okay' before saying the kalimah syahada..
His strength, his positive mind, his passion, his strong faith in Allah and his love, are his great legacy. Al Fatihah dear bro Syed Ahmad Nawal.. we'll miss u so much.
Perhaps its true. The mystery of love is much more greater than anything else in this world. He was the epitome of all the beautiful things on earth with so much love and passion for everyone and in everything he did. The brother that i knew never complains of any of his bad condition. Everytime we were in the hospital he kept being positive and kept convincing us things are going to be fine. And that when things are good, we would the whole family go for a vacation. He made us believe in it. We believed it even at the last moment before he was put on anesthetic. His last word was 'dun worry, things are going to be okay' before saying the kalimah syahada..
His strength, his positive mind, his passion, his strong faith in Allah and his love, are his great legacy. Al Fatihah dear bro Syed Ahmad Nawal.. we'll miss u so much.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
the blank space
Every heart has a space to be filled. It doesnt matter in what form or what kind of a desire, as long as it is not left empty. Empty space creates a flaw, we believed. Somehow we tend to forget the more we tried to fill these empty spaces, the more we feel we're not good enough.
In some circumstances, we urge ourselves to find someone else to fill up the space for us. When that happens it may feels like the space gets bigger than it already is. The truth is, nothing and no one can help us in it.
Perhaps the blank space is meant to be the way it is. Blank. Maybe only then we find the true meaning of peace and serenity.
In some circumstances, we urge ourselves to find someone else to fill up the space for us. When that happens it may feels like the space gets bigger than it already is. The truth is, nothing and no one can help us in it.
Perhaps the blank space is meant to be the way it is. Blank. Maybe only then we find the true meaning of peace and serenity.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Stillness
Everyday I hear friends making a fuss about work, the boring same old routine, being trapped in life that leave them no choice but to keep on with it. Each day seems painful to go through. Escapism does exists but for a short while. Happiness is a temporary, they said. Reality sucks, as they put it. Little that they know, by creating this vibe they are actually welcoming more bad energy. Cliche theory, you might say. Yes it is a theory but how hard can it be when you try to put it into practice. Keeping the good vibe. When it happens, you will be pulling more good energy. Living the life is not so much about what we receive rather, what we give. What you give, you get back. Hear that.. its even in Scorpion song.
Is human really a complex creature? We often want things we dont need. We want drama to happen once in a while and when it does, again, we wish it happen to somebody else. Wake up, we are no difference than others.
If there is one thing we should learn by hard is to take a time, dwell ourselves in the stillness moment. Some people put it as taffakur or meditation in any other form based on the custom or religious belief. The stillness moment is not as hard as it seems if we dont believe in sitting and closing the eyes. Its probably a symbolic way of being in that state.
We may be caught up with work and crisis that we forgot we are an entity that stands alone separated from other tangible elements. This separated entity knows it needs the moment of stillness because in that presence, the moment never lie of what state we are in, what we really need and what we really want. The stillness goes different direction from meditation, questioning our presence in the universe and the purpose of existence but making us indulging ourselves as part of the universe for a moment, appreciating each second that we are in and making the best of each moment no matter how bad it may seems. More than identifying the moment itself, it makes us feel the real feeling. Letting ourselves to feel the pain, the joy and the serenity that come all at once. All that exists in the stillness state are the wide space and our physical and spiritual presence and nothing else. Would it be hard to pick up the pieces of the missing puzzle when the only thing that exist is ourselves in an empty space? Would it still be hard to identify the crisis within ourselves when we are in the moment of transparency?
We do need the stillness moment because inside each of us we are all craving for answers.
Perhaps its just that we do not prefer to take the time moving ourselves out of the circle of the comfort zone. Living in denial seems more practical. We rather choose to be masochist, constantly hurting ourselves and make believe that it eventually will be okay. But what is good for the body is not necessary good for the soul.
Is human really a complex creature? We often want things we dont need. We want drama to happen once in a while and when it does, again, we wish it happen to somebody else. Wake up, we are no difference than others.
If there is one thing we should learn by hard is to take a time, dwell ourselves in the stillness moment. Some people put it as taffakur or meditation in any other form based on the custom or religious belief. The stillness moment is not as hard as it seems if we dont believe in sitting and closing the eyes. Its probably a symbolic way of being in that state.
We may be caught up with work and crisis that we forgot we are an entity that stands alone separated from other tangible elements. This separated entity knows it needs the moment of stillness because in that presence, the moment never lie of what state we are in, what we really need and what we really want. The stillness goes different direction from meditation, questioning our presence in the universe and the purpose of existence but making us indulging ourselves as part of the universe for a moment, appreciating each second that we are in and making the best of each moment no matter how bad it may seems. More than identifying the moment itself, it makes us feel the real feeling. Letting ourselves to feel the pain, the joy and the serenity that come all at once. All that exists in the stillness state are the wide space and our physical and spiritual presence and nothing else. Would it be hard to pick up the pieces of the missing puzzle when the only thing that exist is ourselves in an empty space? Would it still be hard to identify the crisis within ourselves when we are in the moment of transparency?
We do need the stillness moment because inside each of us we are all craving for answers.
Perhaps its just that we do not prefer to take the time moving ourselves out of the circle of the comfort zone. Living in denial seems more practical. We rather choose to be masochist, constantly hurting ourselves and make believe that it eventually will be okay. But what is good for the body is not necessary good for the soul.
Sherine Khalil, Athena and Nurul Izwa
On our first meeting, I was surprised that he could actually sumise in depth beyond other's understanding of whom I really am. That was before he introduced me to Sherine Khalil, the woman who prefers herself to be known as Athena.. a name of one of the Greek Goddess. We both have a lot in common. The difference between she and I, is the truth that we hold on to. She dares to meet with it and I dont. Some things are better left unknown. You see, its easy to be honest with others but to do that to yourself.. It takes a whole new perception and definition of what we are. What are we?
I'm a non-comformist so I rather not confirm myself to anything but rather let loose myself in everything. We are the constituent of the universe.. Everything has connection to one and another... more than that we share common traits. God-like traits are in us because we are His creature. definition limits our potential in every way. Whose idea was it in the first place I wonder... Athena understands that. Probably i understands her beyond the understanding within this limitation that defines her. We both have strong connection.. which sometimes scares me. Truth always scares me. note: I am not an existentialist.
What are we? Thats the question that lingers in us from time to time. If ever someone ask me that, here's the answer.. we are made of energy. Of course we are. Everything is made of energy. Energy evolve..reforms, change forms.. everything. Believing in this, I accept changes with open arms. Changes is good. Athena agreed. We both know, its not the drama, its not the past and it nothing to do with the environment that make us change. Ourselves a few second ago.. a few hours ago is different than ourselves at the present and will be different in the next few seconds, minutes.. hours later. Time is illusion, u dont feel it. Time is an illusion as we both agreed. All that exist is space. Wide space for us to be whoever we want to be. This is the real freedom that we sometimes overlooked. Why? Perhaps because we're so busy to fill in the blanks in us. Not every empty space needs to be filled. Let it remain empty. What space?! Didnt u know, u're preeched to be truthful... transparent. An overrated idea that makes this life seems so intense to live on. We dont need to answer everything about life. Let some be a mystery. I bet she would agree with me. Or not!
Athena was taught that we destroy and rebuild ourselves from time to time..we have the same pattern going on in life; lost and found, hate and love..from being in well-structured system to a complete out of the system. She was taught.. i had to discover that on my own. The common that we have is we accept it and dwell totally in it. Be in a complete presence and totally aware of the being. It drenched us sometimes but there's beauty in it.
Athena.. she danced but in a complete rhythmless motion. She said that it is the way of provoking a presence without any artificial means. I did (different form.. not dance) and I did it way before i met her. It was hard.. u see, that is our biggest fear. To do something completely out of norm.. out of the routine. we get intimidated so easily by it because we're so used to 'the system'. The system takes over our lives. I wasnt aware of what I did and the purpose I did it but I know it was the joy that I was addicted to... now that she made it clear, I wanted to feel every inch of this presence. Roasted chicken with chocolate syrup, tuna sandwich with peanut butter and jelly and fries dipped in vanila ice cream. I found something beyond this complete presence... the happiness within, the joy of every inch of my fear and the complete possibility of being a person called 'self'. I am the one who has the right to open the door of this possibility and no one else...
I'm glad he introduced me to her. more than knowing another person, he made me understand completely about who i am. thanks...
I'm a non-comformist so I rather not confirm myself to anything but rather let loose myself in everything. We are the constituent of the universe.. Everything has connection to one and another... more than that we share common traits. God-like traits are in us because we are His creature. definition limits our potential in every way. Whose idea was it in the first place I wonder... Athena understands that. Probably i understands her beyond the understanding within this limitation that defines her. We both have strong connection.. which sometimes scares me. Truth always scares me. note: I am not an existentialist.
What are we? Thats the question that lingers in us from time to time. If ever someone ask me that, here's the answer.. we are made of energy. Of course we are. Everything is made of energy. Energy evolve..reforms, change forms.. everything. Believing in this, I accept changes with open arms. Changes is good. Athena agreed. We both know, its not the drama, its not the past and it nothing to do with the environment that make us change. Ourselves a few second ago.. a few hours ago is different than ourselves at the present and will be different in the next few seconds, minutes.. hours later. Time is illusion, u dont feel it. Time is an illusion as we both agreed. All that exist is space. Wide space for us to be whoever we want to be. This is the real freedom that we sometimes overlooked. Why? Perhaps because we're so busy to fill in the blanks in us. Not every empty space needs to be filled. Let it remain empty. What space?! Didnt u know, u're preeched to be truthful... transparent. An overrated idea that makes this life seems so intense to live on. We dont need to answer everything about life. Let some be a mystery. I bet she would agree with me. Or not!
Athena was taught that we destroy and rebuild ourselves from time to time..we have the same pattern going on in life; lost and found, hate and love..from being in well-structured system to a complete out of the system. She was taught.. i had to discover that on my own. The common that we have is we accept it and dwell totally in it. Be in a complete presence and totally aware of the being. It drenched us sometimes but there's beauty in it.
Athena.. she danced but in a complete rhythmless motion. She said that it is the way of provoking a presence without any artificial means. I did (different form.. not dance) and I did it way before i met her. It was hard.. u see, that is our biggest fear. To do something completely out of norm.. out of the routine. we get intimidated so easily by it because we're so used to 'the system'. The system takes over our lives. I wasnt aware of what I did and the purpose I did it but I know it was the joy that I was addicted to... now that she made it clear, I wanted to feel every inch of this presence. Roasted chicken with chocolate syrup, tuna sandwich with peanut butter and jelly and fries dipped in vanila ice cream. I found something beyond this complete presence... the happiness within, the joy of every inch of my fear and the complete possibility of being a person called 'self'. I am the one who has the right to open the door of this possibility and no one else...
I'm glad he introduced me to her. more than knowing another person, he made me understand completely about who i am. thanks...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Single Stigma
Why does being single is always associated with being cursed? You are single and u are labelled as a person with some kind of a flaw. Walking around the street or sitting alone while enjoying the solitary moment and suddenly the eyes were looking, judging. In other case, being single is viewed as the only option that is left... big 'L' on the forehead that is.
Single is an option. An individual option that is, not in the society. But what does single means? Is it just a person with no love life, not being in a steady relationship or not in a relationship at all? It never occurs to me that being single has its own impact. A stigma, just like divorcee, widow, u name it. A dear friend who is single for many years, was complaining that Malaysian society are somewhat shallow in this notion. Parents kept on pushing her in finding her so-called soulmate as if the world is about to blow at anytime soon. As if they were afraid that when the time comes the leader of a tribe would take her as a sacrifice for a ritual. In a different situation, she was sitting alone in the middle of a crowd, with bunch of single girls and guys around (who came in groups) when suddenly she noticed that she was the center of attraction. It was definitely not the kind of attraction that we always want from strangers. It was as if there were voices mocking her present. The beauty of solitude crushed instantly. She knew at that moment, everyone noticed the status card that she was holding. S-I-N-G-L-E and it was a bad sign!
It is such an idiotic idea to perceive that people who choose to be single are those with flaws.. worse than those in a relationship. Only ignorants would view being single as being depressed, living a melancholic life with unhealthy state of mind. Cliche... its all cliche.
Single is an option. An individual option that is, not in the society. But what does single means? Is it just a person with no love life, not being in a steady relationship or not in a relationship at all? It never occurs to me that being single has its own impact. A stigma, just like divorcee, widow, u name it. A dear friend who is single for many years, was complaining that Malaysian society are somewhat shallow in this notion. Parents kept on pushing her in finding her so-called soulmate as if the world is about to blow at anytime soon. As if they were afraid that when the time comes the leader of a tribe would take her as a sacrifice for a ritual. In a different situation, she was sitting alone in the middle of a crowd, with bunch of single girls and guys around (who came in groups) when suddenly she noticed that she was the center of attraction. It was definitely not the kind of attraction that we always want from strangers. It was as if there were voices mocking her present. The beauty of solitude crushed instantly. She knew at that moment, everyone noticed the status card that she was holding. S-I-N-G-L-E and it was a bad sign!
It is such an idiotic idea to perceive that people who choose to be single are those with flaws.. worse than those in a relationship. Only ignorants would view being single as being depressed, living a melancholic life with unhealthy state of mind. Cliche... its all cliche.
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